We wish Catra would change. But it’s more important that she doesn’t.

The relationship between Catra and Adora is arguably the most important in She-Ra. The show begins by depicting their lives together in the Fright Zone, showing the ins and outs of their relationship. Catra might be cheeky and cocky but she also balls up at the end of Adora’s bed every night like a, um, cat, preferring to stay close to her best friend.

These girls have looked after each other for as long as either of them can remember. They’ve had each other's backs since they were kids, although it usually falls on Adora to look after Catra. Even their future plans with the Horde involve them ruling the world together.

The opening episodes of season 1 sees the pair split apart as Adora has her eyes opened to what the Horde really is. While Adora is getting to grips with She Ra and learning to make new friends, Catra spends this time worrying for her. She promises her superior that she’ll bring her home.

Mixed in with Catra’s concern is the spark of resentment as Shadow Weaver shows how important Adora is to her and goes to lengths she likely wouldn’t go to if Catra were the one to disappear.

At the end of She Ra’s first fight, the pair are reunited. Catra expects Adora to come home and is surprised when instead Adora begs for Catra to come with her.

As viewers, we wish Catra could see the truth. We want friends to stay together, but sadly it isn’t to be. From this moment on Catra becomes an antagonist and one that knows how to push Adora’s buttons.

As fights with Catra become a regular part of the show we witness Catra grow into her role with the Horde and she relishes it. Even so, there are moments where we still hope that Catra will see the truth, that she will finally move on and become Adora’s friend once again, maybe even joining the good guys.

There are other shows that have depicted villains becoming heroes. Zuko from Avatar The Last Airbender is one of the better examples of this. Seeing his long journey to growth makes for some of the best television out there. And it is downright heartwarming to see him become one of the team.

However, for Catra, a journey of redemption is not on the cards. In fact, as season 1 progresses, her relationship with Adora reaches a major changing point. In the episode “Promise” the pair relive their past memories. It’s shown that Catra’s resentment isn’t actually anything new.

Time and again Adora beats Catra in races, competitions and is the one to defend her friend. This “help” and Shadow Weaver’s clear preference for Adora makes Catra feel like the lesser of the two. Present-day Adora even says “I didn’t mean to make you feel like second best.”

But apologies don’t help. The resentment has grown too much, made bigger by Adora’s discovery that she is She Ra.

Jump forward to the season 3 finale (so spoiler warning) and once again Catra and Adora are fighting one another.

Catra opened a portal, even after she was warned of its dangers by Entrapta. In that moment she didn’t care about the consequences. All the mattered was that she won and Adora lost.

The result is a breaking of reality and a desperate fight to fix it before everything is lost. The pair face off against one another as the world around them literally breaks apart. Catra attempts to lay the blame on Adora and for a moment or two, it appears to work. That is until Adora finally makes a stand and tells Catra “No. This is on you.”

As someone who has had to rid a toxic person from their life, this moment struck a chord with me. Toxic people will try to keep you close while also blaming you for their problems. It’s a love and hate relationship to the extreme.

When it’s someone we love, especially family, we still want them to be happy. We hope they will change for the better so that we can finally have the relationship we wanted. But the sad truth is that they don’t, not without wanting to change themselves.

The best thing we can do is put our foot down and walk away. It’s an incredibly important lesson, especially for a children’s show.

We can’t know what the writers’ plans are for Catra. But from what we’ve seen. She’s a lost cause, at least for Adora. A lesson to the rest of us that at some point you have to stop chasing the person that hurts you and look after the people that really care about you and to look after yourself most of all.